Category: Friendship

Posted on

Finding Moments of Rest for a Peaceful Fall

Do you find that once October hits life begins to feel a bit frantic?  Schedules fill up and to-do lists run long. Home and family life can quickly begin to turn a little chaotic and feelings of overwhelm can start creeping in.  For someone who loves people but loves to be home even more, that gets old really fast. So this year, for the month of November, The Sweet Tea Sisters are going to try to engage in one or two simple things each week that will encourage us to slow down just a bit and enjoy a sweet moment of rest here and there.

Here’s a list of ten things that can be done anytime during the next five weeks–whenever it fits the schedule–but no pressure allowed! The goal here is not to add extra work or expense to the budget, but to find a few simple things that, with minimal effort, cost or prep work, will hopefully energize our spirit and bring moments of rest in the chaos. There is no set time frame for this–there isn’t a particular day of the week or even a particular week to do any of the activities.  If it makes your life easier you could schedule some, while others you may decide on at the last minute.  You don’t even need to do all ten–five is the goal, but you know the SweetTea Sisters like to have OPTIONS and sometimes we might feel like doing a little extra!

Any of these things can be done by yourself, with your family, or with a group of friends.  Mix it up!  Welcome to The Sweet Tea Sisters 5 in 5 Restful Fall Challenge, and we’d love to have you join us!

Here’s what’s on our list and some thoughts about each one.

  1. Eat dinner by candlelight
    This does not mean you need to make a fancy dinner or set the table with cloth napkins and wine goblets–but you certainly could if that’s what will bring you joy without stress!  There’s a good chance we will dish up our food in the kitchen and take our plates to the dining room table, or maybe even our living room coffee table! But there’s just something about candlelight that makes even the most humble thing feel special and relaxing about candlelight. In fact this sounds like the perfect way to elevate a pizza and paper plate evening! 
  2. Send someone a card or letter of encouragement
    Stopping to take the time to think about and then tell someone how grateful you are for someone is usually a sure-fire way to put yourself in a better frame of mind (and heart).  Instead of focusing on all the chaos and to-do lists swirling around, take a moment to be thankful for the blessing of the people God has placed in your life. 
  3. Movie Night
    We love a good movie and sometimes a mid-week movie with a big bowl of popcorn sounds delightful! A pile of blankets and pillows, your favorite pajamas, and a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkles are a great way to enjoy 2 hours.
  4. Go to bed early
    Pull out a sleep mask, diffuse a little essential oils and hit the hay 30-45 minutes earlier than usual with the mindset to do a little relaxing breathing while thanking God for some of the things you’re thankful for as you fall asleep.  
  5. Buy a bouquet of flowers
    Fresh flowers are a great way to lift drooping spirits.  Pick up a bunch or two from your local grocery and divide them into a few smaller arrangements to place all around your home to bring spots of life and color when the world outside is getting darker and colder earlier and earlier.  If you have a florist you love and it fits your budget you can get a great bouquet from there as well. (If you want to be even more extra, grab a extra bouquet and share it with a friend!) 
  6. Take a leisurely bath or shower
    When it’s chilly outside, warm up with water! Use all the pretty smelling lotions and potions, light a few candles, play some soothing music and soak up the moisture until you feel sufficiently pruney. (Shaving your legs is an option, not a necessity!) 
  7. Schedule coffee or tea with a friend
    In person or over a video call, in a home or at a cafe, just schedule some time for an uninterrupted heart to heart chat with a dear friend. Make sure to include some belly laughs if at all possible! 
  8. Game Night
    Invite a few people to get together to play a few games or assemble a puzzle.  No need to make a big meal–a potluck hot cocoa bar is fun and simple!
  9. Read
    Put the phone away, turn off the TV, slip into your favorite cozies, and spend a little time reading whatever you love…magazines, scientific journals, biographies, chick-lit, novels, gossip rags…whatever will give your brain a little break!
  10. Eat dessert
    Bake it, pick it up at the grocery, or get it from your favorite bakery, but indulge in your favorite dessert.  Slow down and really enjoy every bite! 

None of these things are hard, magical, or even unusual, but when done with intention, a thankful heart, and a mind to enjoy them fully, they might bring some much needed rest into the middle of what can quickly become a season long to-do list.

Do you need to find a few minutes of rest this season?  Follow us on Instagram, check out our stories throughout the month of November to follow along, and then join us in this challenge! Use our  list or make your own. Either way, we’d love to hear what you do– tag @thesweetteasisters and use #STS5in5restfulfallchallenge to share your peaceful moments on Instagram.

XOXO,

Shan and Doe

Posted on

Let It Go! (The Pressure of Entertaining, that is…)

When I was growing up, it was common for people to just drop in for a visit, especially on Sunday afternoons. I loved this as a child because you never knew who might show up or who you might drop in on. 

As a young adult, I found this terrifying! For me having someone into my home required at least a little preparation and warning!

When we were first married and had young children our get-togethers revolved almost entirely around friends with small children or family. These didn’t require a lot of planning or preparation. We were all in the same boat…exhausted and running in all directions. There wasn’t Pinterest or any social media to tell us we were doing it wrong.  We’d gather potluck style, use paper plates, play games and let the kids run wild! The only time I made a big effort was at our annual Christmas party where I really looked forward to trying new recipes out on my friends! I remember one year I made crab (artificial) quiche and I felt so fancy!

Once the kids were older and mostly out of the house something changed and I felt pressure to make things nicer, better….perfect. I would drive myself crazy making sure that every nook and cranny was spotless. The house needed to be decorated and every detail seen to. A menu was chosen that would be sure to impress. By the time my guests arrived I was too tired and worn out to really enjoy the evening and I usually needed a couple of days to recover! 

Where did this pressure come from? Myself! I was the person driving the crazy train! It got to the point that we just stopped having people over. Oh sure, there were other reasons that also led to that happening, but I think mostly I was exhausted. I just couldn’t keep up.

After not having anyone in our home other than family for so long, the thought of inviting anyone in filled me with fear. Fear of rejection, of judgment, of not being or doing enough. But I was lonely and missed the sweet fellowship of people. 

And the Lord was working on my heart. He started to impress on me the need to be faithful to steward the home He had given us. A place with plenty of room inside and out, a place people could hopefully come and feel welcome and loved. A place to share His love with others.  I no longer wanted to “entertain”, I wanted to extend hospitality–to just minister, encourage, and love.  To build and strengthen relationships with the people He placed in my life.

So, I put on my big girl panties and invited a group of ladies over for lunch. They were all co-workers of mine. I wasn’t sure they would accept the invitation when I extended it, but they did and we had a lovely time together! I made a simple lunch of chicken salad with croissants. Nothing fancy. Still, I fretted over the house and food before they got there. Was it good enough? The laughter and conversation we shared around the table told me that fretting was an unnecessary burden I placed on myself. But it was going to take baby steps for me to adapt.

As I continued to reach out to various friends and acquaintances it became easier and less scary. I began to loosen up…a BIT. 

Two of my favorite memories are of having our dear friends, Marc, Lisa, Marina, Ed, Johnny, and Stacy over for PIZZA! Take and bake! Not even homemade, and I think we may even have used paper plates! BUT we had the best time! 

Another time we hosted a chili feed with some friends from church, some neighbors, and my brother and sister-in-law. We had several pots/types of chili to sample and once again the laughter and conversation flowed! I was getting the hang of it! More fun get-togethers continued to happen, and then…COVID! 

Oh, how I missed my friends and vowed to have them over ASAP! Like many of you, the pandemic changed a lot of my thinking, especially about things that are important and one thing that became ever clearer to me was that it was the fellowship that mattered, not the perfection of the house of food. 

So with that in mind, when the time finally came to have friends in again the pressure was OFF. I let myself off the hook with having to feel like everything was just so and doing everything myself. One of ”my” rules had always been that the first time someone comes over to my house for dinner, they don’t bring anything. We provide it all, do it all, but not this last time! This time I asked almost everyone to bring something to share and it was wonderful! And you know what? I didn’t even mop my kitchen floor! And no one even pointed it out with shocked and judging eyes!

I still enjoy doing things well and trying to make my guests feel special. That hasn’t changed, but the internal pressure I placed on myself is no longer weighing me down….Oh, the freedom!

So here’s my new hospitality manifesto:

1) I  Keep it simple. In summer BBQ is perfect. In the cooler months, I  try to choose a one-dish recipe or a crock pot meal. Amy Hannon’s Roast Cobbler from her Love, Welcome, Serve cookbook is a favorite around here. And don’t forget there’s always pizza!

2) I let my guests share in the joy of providing part of the meal.

3) I focus on getting the main areas we will use clean (especially the bathrooms) and don’t sweat the rest.

4) Let the Lord lead in the inviting.  He’s the master mixer! 

5) Relax. Breathe. Enjoy

What about you, friend? Are you caught in the web of perfection, running yourself ragged, trying to impress instead of bless? We’d love to hear what’s on your heart and if you have any of your own tips to share! Leave us a comment!

XOXO,

Shan

Posted on

9 Simple Ways to Show Your Pastor You Care

October is Pastor Appreciation Month and we’ve put together a list of 9 simple ways you can show your pastor you care. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture that costs a lot of time or money.  In fact, that may just make your Pastor uncomfortable. Simple and heartfelt can make a bigger impact than splashy and pricey. 

Check out our list of simple ways to show your appreciation in a meaningful way. Most of them are low to no cost.  Choose one idea or pick a few and do them throughout the month–there is no wrong way to let someone know they are seen and their efforts are appreciated. 

Don’t forget to include your Associate Pastors, Youth Pastors, Music Pastors, etc.!  They all work tirelessly and outside of “regular” office hours to shepherd a flock of unruly sheep. Whenever possible, include spouses and children in your blessing as well.  They often sacrifice much for the ministry with little to no recognition.

  1. Pray for your Pastor and his family.  If you haven’t already, join our 31 Days of Prayer for Your Pastor Challenge on Instagram! If this is the only thing you do this month it will be time well spent and the rewards will be massive. In fact, pray for your church’s entire leadership team. The burden to lead well is often heavy and lonely.  We have put together a FREE printable for you to use this month that gives you things to pray for every day. After you’ve finished praying, send them a quick text to let them know you have prayed for them.  Check out our Instagram stories each day for some images you can text or message to your Pastor to tell them they’ve been prayed for. 
  1. Invite them into your home for dinner. Get to know them as people, not just a preacher/shepherd. There’s no need to cook a fancy meal unless that’s something you enjoy doing.  Order a couple of pizzas or do a Nacho Bar.  Pull out a board game (Cards Christians Like seems fitting!) or a puzzle and have a relaxing evening just laughing, sharing, and getting better acquainted.  
  1. Offer to bring dinner to them–even when no one is sick!  What is better than a night off from cooking dinner?  Dinner that’s delivered and eaten on all disposable products! NO COOKING and NO DISHES, can I get an “amen”?!  Again, if cooking a big meal isn’t your thing, do something simple like tacos. You could even pick up some of the sides from a local Mexican restaurant.  You could easily get a rotisserie chicken from the deli, grab a bagged salad, and heat up some refrigerated mashed potatoes.  Easy-peasy, quick, and delicious! Or play pizza-delivery person.  Include a bagged salad, some soda, and brownies from the bakery at your grocery and it will be a winner for the parents and the children.  I always try to send paper plates, disposable cups, napkins, and cutlery.  If I’m cooking the meal I package it in disposable containers.  It’s always hard to make sure dishes make it back to the people they belong to.  **Anytime food is involved, do take the time to ask if there are any dietary restrictions.
  1. Tell them you appreciate them.  It’s really as simple as that.  It can be by a text, a message on social media, or better yet– old fashioned snail mail.  If you prefer, even an encouraging phone call can brighten their day. Be specific.  Tell them what they’ve done or how what they recently taught has impacted your life or your faith walk.  Your words could be just the boost they need to keep them from discouragement.
  1. Praise them to their spouse and children.  You can guarantee the praise will make it back to the pastor.  It will bless not only the pastor to hear it through the grapevine, but their spouse and children will beam with pride to hear that you appreciate all the work their loved one puts in to serving the church body.
  1. Slip them a gift card for a local restaurant or cafe.  Think coffee shops, ice cream parlors, delis, bakeries, etc.  A gift of $10 gives them a reason to slip away from studying for a treat and they will return refreshed and ready to get to work. If you have the means, a gift card for a larger treat, such as dinner out or a night at a hotel is a treat they may not often give themselves. 
  1. If they have small children, offer to babysit so that they can take their spouse out on a date. Getting out of the housen (or some alone time!) can be hard. Asking people to watch your kiddos can be even harder. If you know the family and love their kids don’t wait for them to ask you to babysit–OFFER!  Your Pastor and Spouse will be blessed beyond measure!
  1. Drop off a little giftie of food to the church office.  Some homemade cookies in a gift sack with a bow, maybe a 12 pack of their canned/bottled beverage, or even sack lunches can really brighten their day and give them a boost of energy! 
  1. Organize a love offering to be given sometime during the month of October.  Coordinate with your Elder Team or Board Members to take up a free-will, love offering to give to your pastor one Sunday.

Bonus: Be slow to complain.  Before you bring any grumblings to your Pastor, ask yourself if this issue will matter when you face Jesus.  If it doesn’t, then take those grumblings to God and let Him deal with them.  If the matter is big enough, be sure to spend some time praying for your pastor and about when and how to best approach him in love before you go charging into his office or email with your issue.  I guarantee he will greatly appreciate your kindness! 

We hope these 9 simple ways to show your pastor you care are helpful not only for October and Pastor Appreciation month, but all year! Do you plan on doing any of these things this October?  We’d love for you to share with us!  Leave a comment here and share a picture on Instagram of the ways you are showing your Pastor you care! 

XOXO

Shan and Doe

Posted on

Low-Cost Ways to Keep Cozy After Christmas

I don’t know what it’s like in the winter where you live, but here in West Virginia, it is grey and wet a lot of the time.  I can handle it during the holiday season because I’m distracted by all the twinkly lights, baking, and special music.  Once I take down Christmas my home feels a tiny bit barren. I miss the cozy atmosphere the holiday season brings. This year, I am determined to keep more of that special cozy feeling that surrounds the holiday.  Here are a few ways I’m going to try doing that.

I’m going to start by catering to ALL my senses.  

Paying attention to the way things LOOK around your house is probably the fastest way to implement a cozy atmosphere; are things picked up and organized? Do I like the way my areas are arranged?  Is there something that irritates me each time I look at it that I can do something about? Those are fairly obvious things that make a difference when it comes to making your home cozy.  But when I think about the atmosphere of the holidays so much of it also involves smell, feel, sound, taste.

Smell: So much baking happens around the holidays but life is picking up speed at my house again so I don’t have a lot of extra time to whip up lots of goodies, but I can easily toss together a simmer pot and set it on my stove when I’m in an afternoon slump.  If even that’s too much, I can pull out my essential oil diffuser and search for a great diffuser recipe on Pinterest.  Orange is one of my favorite scents around the house.  It smells fresh and clean and it also helps wake me up when all I really want is a nap.

Taste: I may not have time to whip up a lot of extra treats after the holidays, but I will still be cooking dinner.  When it’s nasty outdoors I purposely plan “comfort foods” that are a little more heavy and rich like this Chicken Pot Pie from the Love Welcome Serve Cookbook, a quick and hearty taco soup (recipe pictured below), or even just opening a can of our favorite chili.  Then I add in a light and fluffy carb, sometimes from scratch but more often something like Jiffy cornbread mix (I doctor it up a bit by adding an extra egg, 2 TBSP of melted butter, and 1 TBSP of sugar to the box mix), a can of Pillsbury biscuits or (our favorite) crescent rolls.  Mmmmmm, I feel warmed up and cozy just thinking about it.

Sound:  There are people home with me all day long so my house leans more toward the noisy side than it does the peaceful and cozy side so I rarely add music into the chaos, but one thing I have enjoyed is playing soft music while I cook or clean in the kitchen.  Pandora is my online music go-to and one of my favorite channels is the French Cooking Channel. I also love The Getty’s channel when I’m looking for Christian music. I don my favorite apron, pour a cup of hot tea, and turn the music up just enough that I can hum along over the sound of the slicing, chopping, pouring, and bubbling.  It changes my whole mood when I’m cooking dinner!

I’m not as familiar with Spotify, but  BooMama205 and TheLazyGenius have made playlists in the past and talked about them on their Instagram accounts.  Of course, you don’t have to go with an already prepared playlist; make your own playlist filled with music that lightens your mood!  Cooking and cleaning aren’t the only times to play music, during dinner background music makes for a wonderful atmosphere, and while you’re soaking in the tub it’s delightful! 

Feel: When it’s blustery and cold outside, I want all the soft, squishy, fluffy things tucked in around me.  Cozy jogger pants, oversize sweaters, thick socks and my favorite slippers, piles of blankets, and pillows I can burrow into with a cup of hot tea, cocoa, or coffee depending on my mood.  I love to end an evening curled up on the couch under a warm blanket, a hot beverage, and a favorite movie. A folded stack of blankets or a pile of pillows tucked into a shelf or basket just calls out for friends and family to settle in and linger a little longer under their warmth. 

The atmosphere of all those things put together can really go a long way to keeping the winter greys outside and bringing the warm and cozy inside.  The only thing that could raise the bar just a little?  

Twinkle lights and candles.  

I can’t even think of what in life is not made a little more cheerful because of a strand of fairy lights or a lit candle.  A candle by your bathroom sink as you brush your teeth before bed, twinkle lights wound up carelessly in a jar on your nightstand, battery-powered candles strewn down the center of your dinner table, white Christmas lights dangling above your kitchen sink.  Dim your lights friends, and enjoy a winter evening by twinkle lights and candles. 

But winter cozy isn’t just about the physical parts of your home.  We want you to find ways to make your everyday LIFE cozy.

  • Take a bubble bath.  Place a few candles (or jars with fairy lights) around the room. Give your skin some extra TLC and hydration with a good sugar scrub.  Saturate your hair in a good hair mask and while it soaks in put your feet up and read a few chapters of a book.
  • Drop off a basket of baked goodies for a friend.  Include the ingredients for their own simmer pot in a cellophane bag tied with ribbon.
  • Plan a coffee date at your favorite local coffee shop (all by yourself if that’s what recharges you, with a friend, with your kiddos, or with your spouse) or if your weather is more temperate, fill a thermos, grab a blanket, pick up some treats form your local bakery and head out on a picnic at a park.
  • Put together a puzzle at home.  Turn on your fireplace (or put one on TV), pour your favorite drink, and have a family puzzle night.  Order-in your favorite pizza and you won’t even have to cook dinner.
  • Date-Night at home. Put your kids to bed early if you have them (or just send them to their rooms early if they’re older) and enjoy a quiet candle-lit dinner with your spouse.  Maybe even throw a blanket on the floor and have a little living room picnic.  Think through all the senses we talked about above and how you might incorporate some of those into your home-date. Who knows what kind of cozy it might lead to! 
  • Eat on that china you usually save for special occasions.  Let’s turn more regular days into reasons to use our favorite dishes.  Spaghetti and french bread taste even better on china than it does on disposable.  (Unless you’re just too exhausted for dishes, then spaghetti on disposable is heavenly!)
  • Go to the library and check out the maximum number of books you’re allowed.  Get a variety, cookbooks, home decor, non-fiction, fiction, comic books, gardening books, whatever strikes you fancy.  Plan a whole day and spend all of it cuddled up pouring over these borrowed treasures. If you’re the playful type, build a fort out of your couch cushions, bring in those battery-operated candles, all your piles of pillows and blankets and do your reading in there! Invite a friend to join you!

What do you think?  Will you try some of these things at your house to stave off the winter blues?  We‘d love to see pictures if you do.  Share them on Instagram and tag @thesweetteasisters

XOXO

Doe

Posted on

10 Simple Ways to Stay Connected When COVID Keeps Us Apart

Are you missing your friends as much as we are?  While some states are slowly opening up others are still pretty locked down, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t stay connected to those you love. Physical distancing shouldn’t mean social distancing!  You don’t have to gather in person to be social. We’ve put together a list of simple ways you can show your friends and family that you are thinking about them and that you care.

Send a quick text

Don’t underestimate the power of a simple text letting someone know you’re thinking about them.  It can be short and sweet; “Thinking of you and hoping your day is great!”, a longer, heartfelt message of encouragement, or even a funny meme that reminds you of them.  Simply letting your loved ones know they are on your mind can brighten their day and put a smile on both of your faces! Check out the “encourage” highlight button on our Instagram page for some fun messages you can screen-shot to send a friend any time.

Make an actual phone call

We know nowadays some people groan and think, “hang-up and text me” when their phone rings.  For those people, refer to idea number 1!  But for many people, getting to hear your voice will bring great joy to their day.  You can even multi-task and make the call while you cook dinner, fold the laundry, or run an errand.  The speakerphone feature is great so long (as you’re not out in public, of course!)  Always remember to use hands free-features if you are calling from your car.  No distracted driving, please! 

Snail mail

When was the last time you received something other than bills or junk in your mailbox?  Wouldn’t it be fun to see something from a dear friend?  You can easily purchase a card at most grocery stores or if you’re feeling crafty you could make one.  But you don’t have to be fancy to be thoughtful!  A simple note written on lined school paper would be a delight as well.  If you are feeling a little bit fancy, adding a bit of washi tape to your envelope or paper never hurts! And don’t forget about post-cards.  These are great fun to receive in your mailbox if you’re young or old! 

Greetabl

This is a really fun way to send a little surprise through the mail.  Through their website, you can send a cute, customizable “thinking of you gift” in a variety of price ranges. It’s even possible to send them anonymously if you’re feeling sneaky!

Amazon 

We already know how easy it is to have Amazon items delivered right to our door, but have you considered having it delivered to a friend’s door? With a few clicks of a button, you can generate a list of gift ideas for a specific gender or age that is sorted by price. You can even choose to have your gift wrapped and include a little note.  Books, blankets, candles, and more are right at your fingertips,  Amazon even offers gift cards to many chain restaurants and shops.  As Ina Garten would say, “ How easy is that?!”

Drop off a baked good, meal, or treat

Do you enjoy spending time in the kitchen?  What friend wouldn’t love to have a tasty treat dropped off on their doorstep? Homemade cookies, a full meal, or even a yummy store-bought treat all show that you care.

Video Chat 

We may not be able to visit in person, but we can still talk face-to-face thanks to modern technology.  There’s just something about seeing a loved one’s face that makes life a little bit better. FaceTime, Houseparty, Facebook Messanger, and Zoom are all simple to use and can help us feel close even if we are far apart.

Flowers

Cut them from your yard or pick them up at the grocery store and place them in a jar or wrap them in brown paper.  Hang them on your friend’s doorknob, then “ring and run”!  You could use a florist to have them delivered as well. No matter how they arrive, flowers can brighten up anyone’s day!  

Run errands for a friend

Know a mom with small children or someone for whom getting out is just extra work?  Offer to run a few errands for them while you are out and about!  You could pick up or deliver dry cleaning, handle their groceries, or even take their pet to be groomed. This could be a huge help for many of the friends on your list.

Drop-in Driveway Chat

Keep a couple of lawn chairs in the back of your car then call your friend to set up an impromptu drop-in driveway chat.  You can giggle and catch up all you want, as long as you keep physically distanced! 

Let us know which ones you try! 

XOXO,

Shan and Doe