Legos and Deviled Eggs; A New Kind of Fellowship

If someone had told me at any point in my earlier life that “using my gifts” in ministry would look like me creating a centerpiece by building an incomplete, multi-colored Lego structure while simultaneously preparing deviled eggs I would have been super confused and then laughed and laughed! 

I’ve found myself out of my depths lately when it comes to serving in my local church.  For most of my adult years, I’ve been involved mainly in a Women’s Ministry capacity: pretty events with tasty food, lovely centerpieces, and handcrafted, girly gifts. Sure, in my “younger years” I helped my sister, Shan, put on a few VBS events, and even played my part in a few skits.  But the Youth Group? Not even for a minute.  

I’m not sure I even really liked Youth Group when I was a youth! I mean I loved the teaching and I loved the fellowship, but all the silliness and games just made me want to crawl under a table until it was over.  My older kids weren’t even part of a Youth Group.  But I do remember my Youth Group fondly.  In fact, some of my dearest friends now are people I hung out with in Youth Group (including my husband). And a major foundation for my faith was laid in my High School Sunday School Class.

When my husband and I relocated across the country and began settling into a new town and a new church I was determined to wait and see where God would lead me to serve, instead of striving to serve where (and in the same ways) I had always served. I wanted to have an open mind and an obedient spirit to be used in whatever way would benefit His Kingdom the most–without me meddling in things–even if it was out of my normal. I still pretty much assumed it would be in Women’s Ministry somehow–because what else would He call me to?!

What I used to think was a gift for “hospitality” (meaning serving women and couples through events) I’m now realizing is a gift for facilitating fellowship around food–in general.  Over the last few years, I have felt strongly that God wanted me to feed people.  Not just spiritually with His word, but practically as well.  I’ve tried to lean into that calling and be obedient when I sense Him nudging me to get my oven preheated.   Feeding people isn’t a new act of service for me, I’ve been involved in many meal trains for people in my church and have participated in almost every women’s luncheon/tea/event that I’ve known about since I was young. I just didn’t really expect God to lead me to feed a group of teenagers and their leaders.

It started with my son and daughter joining a youth small group through our church. My husband and I offered to host the high school boys group in our home.  Right away, I felt led to also offer to feed the youth and the leaders dinner each week before their meeting.  Feeding them and seeing them get to know one another in a way that often happens when people eat together, fed my own soul in a way I had not anticipated.  All I had wanted to do was take a burden off the leaders and families on what I knew had to be a busy night for them. And to give the kids an opportunity to talk outside of their question and answer time at the end of their teaching time. Both of those things may have happened, but on top of that, I was the one blessed to witness their time together.

But then COVID became a whole pandemic and the world shut down. Small groups stopped and transitioned to virtual meetings.  I was so sad to lose that Tuesday evening opportunity.  And then my husband had (and survived) a major heart attack and my whole world flipped into chaos. There was no way I could have managed meals for others as I was barely figuring out meals for us at this point, but I was watching and eagerly awaiting when we would settle down and figure out how to function again.

Once COVID restrictions had lightened up, my husband was feeling better, and we were establishing new rhythms and routines, our church started gearing up to relaunch our in-person Youth Ministry and somehow I found myself heading up a Youth Ministry Support Team. One of the main jobs of this team is to provide snacks for the Youth Group on Tuesday nights.  How hard could that be? I imagined it would be a plain table with simple snacks laid out for the kids, buffet style.  Quick and easy–nothing to see here, just chips and cookies!  

But as I began preparing for that first Tuesday night, the Lord laid it on my heart to provide a little more sustenance than chips and cookies.  So I rounded up some of the parents for a more substantial snack and then I sat down to whip up some quick signs in Canva to use down the center of the table.  These signs would highlight the five areas the Youth Pastor would be teaching over the course of the year.  While putting those out I decided to use a sharpie marker to quickly write out the main scriptures that went with each teaching topic down the paper table runner so the kids could read them as they filled their plates.  It wasn’t fancy or even really well done, but it was something and it caught the eye.  

The next week, while talking with the Youth Pastor about what the lesson and illustration would be, I thought, “Oh, I can use that on the table as a visual reminder for the kids!”  I had begun to realize this “snack ministry”  was an ideal opportunity to put the Scriptures in front of kids who may not be putting them in front of themselves. And to reinforce the concept and lesson they heard during worship and teaching. Food for the belly and food for the soul.  

And that’s how I suddenly found myself elbow-deep in my son’s box of Legos at 2:00 on a Tuesday afternoon while 24 eggs boiled on my stove.  I have to say, as confused as I am about why God called me to serve here, I am loving every minute of it.  When I think I have no clue what to do for the next week the Lord will give me just the perfect idea!. And then I’ll spend a few days wondering how in the world I’m going to pull that off–and then He helps me do that too!

So lately, I’m finding my creative juices are churning less over homemade cards, pretty centerpieces,  and pretty gifts  and more over a new kind of centerpiece and a new kind of fellowship. I love getting to see the teens light up when they see a table laden with awesome snacks just for them and watch them look over the centerpieces, connecting what they see with what they just heard. I’ve never considered my love of crafts as a “gifting”–it’s just always just been a hobby that I can pull from for ministry stuff, but now I’m beginning to wonder. It seems that God will use anything, in any way, to serve His WHOLE church body and bring glory to His name! 

I’d love to hear about where and how you use your unique gifts to serve your church body.  Did you always know that was the place for you?  Has your area of service changed over the years? We’d love it if you’d share your serving story in the comments!

Serving Christ Together-

XOXO,

Doe

Let It Go! (The Pressure of Entertaining, that is…)

When I was growing up, it was common for people to just drop in for a visit, especially on Sunday afternoons. I loved this as a child because you never knew who might show up or who you might drop in on. 

As a young adult, I found this terrifying! For me having someone into my home required at least a little preparation and warning!

When we were first married and had young children our get-togethers revolved almost entirely around friends with small children or family. These didn’t require a lot of planning or preparation. We were all in the same boat…exhausted and running in all directions. There wasn’t Pinterest or any social media to tell us we were doing it wrong.  We’d gather potluck style, use paper plates, play games and let the kids run wild! The only time I made a big effort was at our annual Christmas party where I really looked forward to trying new recipes out on my friends! I remember one year I made crab (artificial) quiche and I felt so fancy!

Once the kids were older and mostly out of the house something changed and I felt pressure to make things nicer, better….perfect. I would drive myself crazy making sure that every nook and cranny was spotless. The house needed to be decorated and every detail seen to. A menu was chosen that would be sure to impress. By the time my guests arrived I was too tired and worn out to really enjoy the evening and I usually needed a couple of days to recover! 

Where did this pressure come from? Myself! I was the person driving the crazy train! It got to the point that we just stopped having people over. Oh sure, there were other reasons that also led to that happening, but I think mostly I was exhausted. I just couldn’t keep up.

After not having anyone in our home other than family for so long, the thought of inviting anyone in filled me with fear. Fear of rejection, of judgment, of not being or doing enough. But I was lonely and missed the sweet fellowship of people. 

And the Lord was working on my heart. He started to impress on me the need to be faithful to steward the home He had given us. A place with plenty of room inside and out, a place people could hopefully come and feel welcome and loved. A place to share His love with others.  I no longer wanted to “entertain”, I wanted to extend hospitality–to just minister, encourage, and love.  To build and strengthen relationships with the people He placed in my life.

So, I put on my big girl panties and invited a group of ladies over for lunch. They were all co-workers of mine. I wasn’t sure they would accept the invitation when I extended it, but they did and we had a lovely time together! I made a simple lunch of chicken salad with croissants. Nothing fancy. Still, I fretted over the house and food before they got there. Was it good enough? The laughter and conversation we shared around the table told me that fretting was an unnecessary burden I placed on myself. But it was going to take baby steps for me to adapt.

As I continued to reach out to various friends and acquaintances it became easier and less scary. I began to loosen up…a BIT. 

Two of my favorite memories are of having our dear friends, Marc, Lisa, Marina, Ed, Johnny, and Stacy over for PIZZA! Take and bake! Not even homemade, and I think we may even have used paper plates! BUT we had the best time! 

Another time we hosted a chili feed with some friends from church, some neighbors, and my brother and sister-in-law. We had several pots/types of chili to sample and once again the laughter and conversation flowed! I was getting the hang of it! More fun get-togethers continued to happen, and then…COVID! 

Oh, how I missed my friends and vowed to have them over ASAP! Like many of you, the pandemic changed a lot of my thinking, especially about things that are important and one thing that became ever clearer to me was that it was the fellowship that mattered, not the perfection of the house of food. 

So with that in mind, when the time finally came to have friends in again the pressure was OFF. I let myself off the hook with having to feel like everything was just so and doing everything myself. One of ”my” rules had always been that the first time someone comes over to my house for dinner, they don’t bring anything. We provide it all, do it all, but not this last time! This time I asked almost everyone to bring something to share and it was wonderful! And you know what? I didn’t even mop my kitchen floor! And no one even pointed it out with shocked and judging eyes!

I still enjoy doing things well and trying to make my guests feel special. That hasn’t changed, but the internal pressure I placed on myself is no longer weighing me down….Oh, the freedom!

So here’s my new hospitality manifesto:

1) I  Keep it simple. In summer BBQ is perfect. In the cooler months, I  try to choose a one-dish recipe or a crock pot meal. Amy Hannon’s Roast Cobbler from her Love, Welcome, Serve cookbook is a favorite around here. And don’t forget there’s always pizza!

2) I let my guests share in the joy of providing part of the meal.

3) I focus on getting the main areas we will use clean (especially the bathrooms) and don’t sweat the rest.

4) Let the Lord lead in the inviting.  He’s the master mixer! 

5) Relax. Breathe. Enjoy

What about you, friend? Are you caught in the web of perfection, running yourself ragged, trying to impress instead of bless? We’d love to hear what’s on your heart and if you have any of your own tips to share! Leave us a comment!

XOXO,

Shan